journal: lessons to learn – Page 15

attention span of a gnat

Posted on July 11, 2016July 11, 2016 by arlee

I’m very unsettled right now. Can’t make up my mind what i want to do, where to start, wondering about burgeoning piles of “supplies” that excited me in the making, but not in the using of.

Had a deep deep look at old work, going back to the original photo files and remembering the intent, the feeling–

Ah yes, the feeling. That passion, excitement, joy, playfulness combined with serious effort has been missing. I’ve stuck myself in a rut, have been following along on my own status quo, staying inside a box (of my own devising admittedly) for the most part. I haven’t felt compelled or obsessed really since the making of A Birth of Silence, even the Leighton work kind of leaving me cold–competent, and interesting work, but not for my soul really.

I haven’t truly been spending much time in the stoodio. Oh, the stitch corner on the couch gets used, but too often lately, the work each evening has been tossed on a pile, an ever enlargening pile, one that frustrates and maddens me because the work isn’t coming out of my heart, just out from my fingers, fingers that need to Do, but aren’t really getting anything Done……..I’ve even subconsciously blocked the path TO the studio–there are boxes, bags, tool chests and suitcases literally in the way, necessitating a small delicate two step to get through–now what does THAT say about the import of being in there?????

So i’m going to go back to screwing around with whatever, with everything, flitting here, flapping there, nothing serious, nothing profound. Perhaps some “self directed workshops” again will open the sluices, summer tasking a million things because they *all* need doing: distraction and deflection.

Like my garden, i don’t know whether to fold up

or fold down

go to seed

buzz around

or just hang in there….

I may not make the end of summer residency exhibit because of this, but that may be a cost i have to absorb. Then again, maybe lightning will strike and new vision will appear.

I’m tired myself of the analyzing and overthinking. Screw it and the horse it rode in on.

a collusion of ideas, journal: lessons to learn, Milkweed Studies

riding off in all directions at once, total recall

Posted on July 5, 2016July 5, 2016 by arlee

Too many possibilities! But not enough thought, texture, design in the start……………….

I’ve stuck myself in a rut, as much fun as it was to design “whole cloth” fabrics to work with. I need to go back to piecing in, layering and shaping. I also want to go back to myself in a sense, maybe with the GIRL series from 2012.

I can “see” this better now:

Maybe i’m just rambling, but i knew last night when i started stitching on the whole cloth piece, it didn’t feel right, didn’t satisfy, so much so that i burst into blubbering howls at a stupid, manipulative Sad Overly Dramatic Moment on the tubage because head and heart was so unhappy with what my hands were doing. Triggers are funny/strange/unrelated things.

Seriously? Yup, on “Containment” believe it or not……..

I still have some of that beautiful lace i used in that 2012 piece, i have bits of soft silk in the lavender and pink colours, i need more dimension and tactile whoopteedo’s–because it’s that texture that gets my heart racing, therwise it’ll languish in that damned pile of Maybe Someday I’ll Finish It. I post sometimes maybe too fast, too enthusiastically, and then Reality sets in, and the race is ended before it even began. Start at the beginning again. At least there isn’t any ripping out to do, and the start can still be incorporated.

journal: lessons to learn, Residency 2016

the waiting is the hardest part

Posted on June 6, 2016June 6, 2016 by arlee

Day one, Res 2016

Speed Bump by Dave Coverly

Sweltering heat in the dye studio, none of the windows are openable. (WHO designed the gawddamned place anyways??????????? NONE) I managed three hours in there and melting, decide to come home. Day one is always a waiting game anyways as natural processes do what they will.

I brought one thing home with me to speed up the experiment, and all i will say about that is NEVER lick the end of a metal thread when trying to load the needle. I’m not so hip as to want a pierced tongue.

And i have to pass by the cowboy’s ass again everyday……………………

Ha, made ya look.

a collusion of ideas, journal: lessons to learn

the moment between the thought and the needle

Posted on May 31, 2016 by arlee

there’s a moment between the thought of a loaded needle before putting the loaded needle in, and that can change the whole

something becomes something else, it is nothing right now, it’s going away

the old other, the familiar other, the intuitive, comfortable, too comfortable maybe, but our feet always seek the warmest sunspot on the floor

or it’s simply evolution, flux, metamorphosis, mutabilty, not an earth shattering reversal, just a side step

or do we seek the deepest path we have already worn?

The Heart wants what it wants – or else it does not care -Emily Dickinson

Indigo Dreams, journal: lessons to learn, Leighton work, Moons

the flower moon

Posted on May 25, 2016September 27, 2016 by arlee

Let Pretty be, Let It Be, Let It be……….

ha.

Sixth in the “series”. I have one more to do in this size, and then with a July 30 deadline looming (because those pesky spare five minutes-es are coming fewer and fewer between) MUST get back to the big one.

Had a dream last night about this one and i wasn’t Disturbed by it—- i *have* done “pretty” before and it’s one of my favourite pieces, so blah blah to the Inner Critic.

journal: lessons to learn, Leighton work, Moons

pretty (6th) moon

Posted on May 24, 2016September 27, 2016 by arlee

Honestly, i struggle with the concept of “Pretty”. Can it still be art? Pretty i suppose is in the mind/eye of the beholder, but i always feel i’m subjugating the subject….

Sometimes things take on a life of their own however. The sixth moon was made yesterday on a rainy day that prevented me from the annual “May Long Weekend” planting marathon, perhaps in direct response TO the weather 🙂

Now to find the perfect background.

Indigo Dreams, journal: lessons to learn, Leighton work

what shall she be named?

Posted on May 9, 2016May 9, 2016 by arlee

The Leighton Lady is almost done, but i hesitate to name her anything yet. She epitomizes not only a response to the response 🙂 to the original work done by Marian Nicoll at the Leighton Art Centre that inspired me, but also a connection to the earth and river forces that are so important to me. I’m having a hard time articulating what this really means in terms of simple language.

With the Milky Way behind her as so visible in the mountains, trees and roots from the site, and the river below (which is not at that site, but rather near me personally and physically), whatever she is to be Named must contain all that.

Anyhoo, “art speak” and “concept” aside, the last few inches have me in a bit of a dilemma. I completely veto-ed the first idea (done in photo editing, and imagine the white corona is in blue thread!), as trite, “expected” and a little too religion-y for my tastes.

With photo editing again, i added a few of the circles to the right corner. I like the open lighter space around her, but it’s too loose physically, so will have to figure out a way to anchor it without the stitch being obvious, perhaps in the same silk thread used on the figure itself. I’m also going to remove that semi circle on her left shoulder, as it just looks wrong.

Here she is in her almost finished entirety.

When stretched on her 24×9″ canvas, some of the stitched edges will wrap around the sides and back. I hate blank edges when i use this method to “present”–painters do this if they care, so why wouldn’t i?

a collusion of ideas, journal: lessons to learn

time is a river

Posted on April 13, 2016April 13, 2016 by arlee

Periodically, i dig through my old Flickr account, and to my surprise, found this from July 2009. And Greyman thinks she might be in the basement rolled up in an old garbage bag! Apparently from the notes on the flickr photo, she was to be part of my plans for my first residency at ACAD through Contextural, and actually was going to be a Hoodoo figure. (No, not the WooWoo Voodoo Hoodoo type, but one of these.) Since that first residency was a HUGE bust, she got packed away and forgotten.

Sometimes i find my ideas go nowhere for a long time: not because i don’t want to implement them, but because i don’t have the skill set at the time of the concept, sometimes because everything hasn’t been thought through for end result, execution of idea and face it, true interest. Sampling is a wonderful thing, but obviously at the time, i got lost, biting off more than i could chew.

THIS is the Blue figure i mentioned in a previous post–i just hadn’t realized it at the time. She needs to be a little less “pointy”, though i also don’t want an obvious “head” either. The first step will be to take her apart completely. After being stored for all these years in a basement that was flooded in the 2013 Calgary disaster, i don’t want to be finding any surprises in her.

I discharged blue velveteen for this piece:

Not indigo dyed, but sure looks like it! When i take her apart to check for possible damage, i think i’m going to add some more of the mokume style discharge, just a bit as i love that contrast of earth and water.

As is my wont, i am thinking of rivers again/still. Can one represent a river as a vertical 3d form? In the Feminine, i think so. Notebook scribblings:

a river is a space, a river is time one ripple sweeps another changing the first and shaping the second, forming a third but still the mother

old rivers become ripples in shape, winding and wandering back to themselves, carving deep veins in the earth

old rivers are womanly, curving and undulating, swift along banks but still and deep in the centre

she/river nurtures but sweeps roots to cross and tangle, knotting nets and weaving links

Creative Strength Training with Jane Dunnewold, Indigo Dreams, journal: lessons to learn, Leighton work

many moons to go

Posted on April 12, 2016April 12, 2016 by arlee

A rough week with a bad cold, the first of the year–hopefully the last as summer colds are abysmmal!—-i spent 37 hours of the first two days ASLEEP. Rest does help, as do copious gallons of water and watered juice. I dreamed a lot, rivers and moons and blue lady figures.

I remember a recurring dream i had as a child, a storied tall blue ghostly woman who glided down the hill, no feet, fast, no ripples from the wind in her gown, just swooping down the highway section i could see from my bedroom window. She would stop at the edge of the yard for a second or two, then vanish. Never threatening, but always making me a little uneasy. Every once in awhile i remember her again and wonder what my child brain was processing.

From the last of my indigo bits, there are 4 moons ready to stitch. The Leighton Art Centre wants smaller pieces for the attached gift shop, so these grouped, should be fun.

I’ve been doing a lot of writing also lately, the last few lessons in Jane Dunnewold’s “Creative Strength Training” course. Winnowing down themes, and what’s important, what really deeply draws me, has new horizon lines opening up. Looking at a new series that builds on previous work is a distinct possibility now. I can’t seem to escape the lure of hand embroidery, and indeed don’t want to, but i do want to build more meaning in, more depth visually and in concept/meaning. That Blue Lady may figure prominently, and maybe then i’ll understand what she was trying to tell me.

a collusion of ideas, Deliberation--do something you don't do--or haven't in awhile, journal: lessons to learn

new play tool

Posted on April 6, 2016April 6, 2016 by arlee

MM, what a fabulous ~~time waster~~ tool 🙂 I usually just use my trusty free download of Irfanview to fiddle with photos. It has enough “effects” and capabilities usually that it suffices to get the fires going. I also don’t have one-a them fancy newfangled “smart” phones that can download all the (mostly) useless apps everyone thinks they have to have. Once in awhile though, a computer tool comes along on a site that is useful for manipulating colour, line and feeling. It’s good to shake things up once in awhile.

I really like this tool, so i spent a few hours with it this morning. Most of the “filters” distort your photo so much that the point is lost, IMHO. (And who really wants their work to look like a mass of peanuts or jelly beans, the American flag, or “Citradelic”????) I stuck to the “Kandinsky” filter, and found that while black and white uploads can give lovely images, the more strongly coloured your photo is, the more contrast and interest points there are. The panoramas below are the original sketches i used for my “The Weight She Carries” ( i used only one wing alone in the final work!) and the manipulated image. I find it fascinating that the mood of the original becomes completely different, joyful even. I still want to use the whole original sketches as works, but companion pieces in the “happier” version would be interesting as well, with different methods used in each.

If you want to play too, go to Dreamscope, but be warned: you could spend HOURS, DAYS, WEEKS futzing around. Be selective 🙂 I won’t be going back for awhile: i have all the grist for the mill i need right now. (The larger your photo upload, the longer it will take—and magically, a 650×871 sized photo becomes a 894×1200 manipulation, go figure…)