Category: journal: lessons to learn

Posted in a collusion of ideas, journal: lessons to learn

Redux

Posted on by arlee

I’m still rattling ideas around, getting lost and frustrated, but slowly slooooooooowly pulling things together. Remember when “word of the year” was really trending? I don’t do that anymore, but am thinking anyways of one year in particular when i found myself: 2012 the year of “Origin”, going back to old ideas and techniques, staying true to myself, letting myself rest. I need to do that again. Because seriously, the months since completing Tabula Memoria have been one long nasty picnic of doubt, self loathing, frustration, boredom and, yes, even Anger with myself. (Don’t get me wrong: i love that piece, but it took a LOT out of me, something i didn’t realize was happening at the time.)

Certain things keep popping into view in old files, in Flickr and my private blog, and i do believe it’s time to work ’em again/finally.

From 2011, this weaving idea has been pinned up and removed from the inspiration board so many times it now has a fine cloud of holes around the edges 🙂

The interpretation is actually going to be a bit different than i originally planned, and involves the harem cloth (and natural dyes) mentioned in a previous post. Also using that fabric in something like this has sparked some ideas:

I loved making Mother’s Heart in 2013, still one of my favourite pieces, and maybe i could shake it/make it on/with the languishing Anno Suturae. (Photo above is when i was auditioning background pieces for MH). Redux’s are always fun as you evolve and riff from them I seem to do better/feel more in tune with what i am doing, when seemingly disparate elements are combined, and i feel i’ve misplaced that somewhere in the lat few years.

I have Anno Suturae pinned up rather haphazardly so i can see the whole, check different orientations and decide where to cut, move, remove and add, because it’s time to really combine some ideas. I may even “lose” the stitching that is already on there, as most of the intent is gone. Perhaps it should be renamed Annos Suturae!

My Inner Critic of course is snargling.

“Yeah right, another “Plan”, wonder how long that will last?”

“Oh, you’re just copying yourself again.”

“You obviously don’t have any original ideas anymore. Ha, original, get it: you talked about Origin, but you’re way off base. Ha.”

“It’s easy to sit on the computer and blether about it. When ya acshully gonna get off yer bazotski and do it? Oh yeah, never.”

Going to have to shut that bitch in a box and throw her in the freezing many yards away garage.

 

Posted in Jam Day, journal: lessons to learn

harem cloth notes

Posted on by arlee

I’ve had harem cloth, a type of cotton, in the stash since waaaay back when i took one of Jude Hill’s classes (2010?), on her recommendation as a “base”. Gauzy, lightweight and infinitely malleable for many techniques, it’s usually been relegated in my studio to hand dyed overlays to build colour, test stitches (predominantly machine), and much went into indigo baths. I found it much too diaphanous however, to use as a batting/background in *my* opinion, for my work, stitching that requires some Meat to hold to, build the dimension and accent texture.

(Image courtesy of Dharma, where i bought the fabric.)

 

For the most part, i figured it was too “lazy” a fabric to use much, usually just lying there all wan, frail and languishing, trying to pretend it’s a pale Rossetti maiden. It *does* take dyes beautifully though, and shibori tie/stitch works well because it’s sheer/filmy, but beyond the figures on “Tabula Memoria”, it never got centre stage.

But i DID use it obviously and since i’ve gone through almost 20 yards, with only a yard left, figured it was time to re-order.   The new batch that arrived in December is even more delicate! That sparked some new ideas though, because it is exquisite in its ethereal transparency! (Of course, i have no doubt that spectacular work can/will be done with the TEN yards i bought, and when/if i re-order to make more Wonder, the quality will be different again…..)

Now, as those of you who have ecoprinted with sheer fabrics know, that transparency usually means the images aren’t that visible unless laid over something else. I gave up on 5mm silk a long time ago because of that, going to at least a 12, but am wondering what effect natural dyes will have on such a rarefied weight of cotton. Before you get all squiffy, i *know* the colour won’t make it more solid, but am wondering about light play, (un)even-ness, colour striking and possible patterning. Actually, i want it to be a bit uneven, imperfect, but i don’t want it splodgy and poorly done either. I still want that otherworldly appearance.

BOTHER. Well, ya gotta laugh at yerself sometimes, doncha? I wanted to stick a video clip of Tom Hulce as Amadeus (Mozart), laughing here, but it would just be too cruel to subject you to more than one clip 🙂

I wrote all that before i washed the fabric. It’s the same. It all still applies though.

Guess i better experiment.

Posted in Anno(s) Suturae, in progress, journal: lessons to learn

Histories and Mysteries

Posted on by arlee

Rather silly, but very indicative of the modern world, i’ve been digging through the digital file archives again to find fabrics i couldn’t find physically! (All these above from the 2012 res at ACAD.) I’ve been racking my brains as to where the second from the right went…turns out it’s mostly in small squares now for a ‘circle a day” project (of which i have i think maybe 6 done…) I know the first on the left was the background for “Strange Soul Take Flight” the second i haven’t the foggiest, and the point of the whole endeavour, to find the original for Anno Suturae, far right.

Maybe the orientation is “wrong” as i have been working (or not working…..). I usually go for portrait,

but maybe landscape is actually the way to go? And i think i like the “heavier” elements at the top, like they are floating , first photo in post, rather than at the bottom, sinking, sunk.

Well, that means that scissors are definitely a factor! Some of the already done embrilting is oriented in a specific direction, so turned sideways is not gonna cut the visual mustard. Some is interpretive so it won’t matter the direction, but since it’s all crammed into one section, is going to have to be sliced and diced anyways.

Heart above okay, snail below, WHY?????

Fortunately, the actual work has been bundled up in a drawer since the last time i touched it, and given the colour choices in thread, i don’t have to worry about figuring out which colourway i used, or having to order more. As usual though, i had kept track “just in case”:

What remains to be seen is if i can sustain the interest (AGAIN, STILL), and not Gadbee around with other work!

Posted in Anno(s) Suturae, embrilting, journal: lessons to learn, Probably talking to just myself, Rust

Great White Whales

Posted on by arlee

(I actually wrote this post at the *beginning* of 2017, never published it, and for the most part, did nothing with the piece i’m talking about…)

Jan 23/17: January means re-organizing, prioritizing in my stoodio. I dig through drawers and boxes, sorting, knowing some things will never be finished, but unable to part with them, making new stacks of “possibles”, and a bit of clenchedteethtossing of a few, VERY FEW, pieces. I get fired up by beads, miniscule scraplets of cloth, short ends of thread, and serendipitous colour combinations when things fall on each other.

And then, i find

The Great White Whale.

This whale takes up a lot of space, literally and figuratively. Once in awhile, the currents of present day sweep it back under the waters, and it sinks, sulking at the bottom of my subconscious for months, and then when i least expect, it breaches loudly, and sings, briefly, but oh so emphatically. I *know* i had the right idea when i first conceived it, but, but, but, BUT.

“Let faith oust fact; let fancy oust memory; I look deep down and do believe.”
― Herman Melville, Moby-Dick

Jan 1/18:

Is it any wonder i can get nothing done, feel no gumption, have no inspiration? Piles and messes like this used to really inspire me; now i just walk away from it, overwhelmed, disgusted, bored, frustrated. There are cupboards and bins not visible, full of fabrics slated for projects, and a lot OF projects in progress/notprogress. I’ll spare you those. Time AGAIN to re-organize, declutter, throw out.

In particular, the Great White Whale has been packed away since April 2014, with maybe a 10th of the expanse worked. It was overly ambitious, daunting, heavy in my lap and on my mind. I even had a separate blog for it, now private as i couldn’t bear to see it myself, never mind anyone else…. (I *might* re-open it, depending on depending on…)

Original cloth, 48×72″, made during 2012 residency:

I’ve worked on only maybe a 1oth of the area (not that the area is finished…).

That photo does no justice either to what i *have* done.

Everything on it got away from me. I *didn’t* believe in it anymore. Too many ideas and interpretations, i had intended it to be a record of sorts of my practice and evolution, but it’s just a damn sampler now.

Scissors, we will have scissors.

It never had to be ONE piece of cloth. I’m going to be cutting to cut, re-arrange, overlap, make deliberate spaces, maybe even holes, patches, whatever. Because i also see the photos like this:

and fall in love again.

 

Posted in Deliberation--do something you don't do--or haven't in awhile, Jam Day, journal: lessons to learn

letting the hands have their way, though not feeling very handish….

Posted on by arlee

Just stitching. Red scrap salvaged from student scrap box at ACAD. I even left the dart in 🙂

For the need of it.

 New wallet!

 

For the sake of it. Naturally dyed threads:

For the potential, new work component:

All she will have is the honeycombs, i think.

 

For the nostalgia, old project picked up again (“A Stone’s Throw from the Midnight Lake”), stitching started 2009:


hand and centre ripped out in 2012, going to rip out the heavy leaves at bottom right as well, and the beads in the centre:


Started with embroidery again this past week. And yup, i’m hiding the machined lines with hand embroidery, not that i think it’s bad or not valid, just because i can, and like the heavier/more textural look with hand embroidery. Mixing naturally dyed with the commercially dyed as well, ’cause colour is colour. (And what a ridiculous time frame for such a small piece…. 15.5×23.5″)

I’m thinking an indigo moon might work in that centre? A face?  A tree? Mmmm, tree.

 For the possibility, new work, sample, done enough to think about:

 

Idea to be incorporated in piece with the lace figure.

 

For the practice, keeping the hand in.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s that Magical Thinking time of the year again. We don’t worry about it, each day, each year much the same (safe, warm, employed, happily married and parenting animals, no drama), but if that turn of a calendar page does something for you, enjoy it. See ya on the flip side.

 

Posted in "OPINIONATION", journal: lessons to learn

how much does a year?

Posted on by arlee

I used to judge myself on how many things were finished in a year . In the last six years, i’ve let myself slow down, with technique, thinking process, research and results. It’s much more satisfying for me to view work that i am connected to *because* i have taken “more time”. It seems very much to me that quantity over quality, fast fix over real depth has become the way for some to feel they are Artists. I don’t believe any of the masters in any other medium keep a ledger on how many paintings/sculptures/plates/widgets, whatever they have produced each month. It actually makes me laugh too when i see articles about the newest stitching SuperStar “who takes up to 35 hours to do each piece!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!” Some of us count into the several 100’s, even 1000’s………… No, it doesn’t make us better/more involved/more enlightened, but please, it doesn’t mean we are not conscious of what we are doing just because we count them either. (All creativity is mindful)

Time also has the advantage of your voice and style being added to the work. When you slow down (and i’m not talking about just hand stitching or embroidery here, as that is *not* what “slow” means or what the Slow Cloth movement is about), you actually have the luxury of really looking at what you are doing, can ask yourself if design elements or techniques actually fit with what you are doing, if what you are doing is truly important enough to you to actually/factually do, and really get personal with the cloth. You also learn to fix mistakes, not just cover them up–though as we all know, the occasional mistake can be serendipitous. That can apply to machine work, or any of the fancy “buy more product” mixed media projects as well. It often seems also that speed kills creativity in the competition to try everything, new under the sun or not.

I don’t want to be prolific anymore, i want to be profound. (Even if that is only in *my* head, not recognized by my “peers”…) Of course, the last paragraph of this post aside–because time is precious, does not last forever,  and who might die tomorrow?—- time is also needed to play, to experiment, to simply fart around, but time also must be used wisely and judiciously so that millisecond of Profundity is recognized and acted upon.

Over the last five months of this year, having finished a really large intensive commission, i have found myself at an impasse with my work. I pull out things: sketches, fabrics, notes and get all excited, then realize the momentary WhatIf is not a sustainable mood or strong enough desire to actually do it. I’m an Idea Gadbee right now i guess, too many flowers to visit, not enough time to get back to the inner Hive. There are an awful lot of posts here in the time since “Tabula Memoria” that will just have to sit and seed. I don’t like being one of those people who posts over and over about what they are GOING to do, instead of just doing it. Or not 🙂 Admittedly, my work blog has a hell of a number of those, but that’s good for future mining.

These last few weeks of the year 2017 are being spent with noodling around, and returning to, if not finishing, a few old old old projects that *do* want to be worked on OR finished (still not counting with those), and so, whatever happens, happens.

It’s not so much about the hand, as it is the involved mind. Originality doesn’t arrive at lightening speed, nor does Becoming an Artist. In the words of The Old English Poets “Ti-i-i-ime is on my side, yes it is, yes it is.”

Posted in Jam Day, Probably talking to just myself

circus bird

Posted on by arlee

That’s me, just home from “my stylist” (hear that swoony yet snotty accent? 🙂 ). I’m not sure if it’s a circus tent top, or an exotic bird, but i LOVE it. Pink and blue over dark cherry.

For the record, i loathe selfies, so that’s all of me you’re going to see– the topping ,the brain, and the eyes.

The boss however may have a shit fit, but hey, it’s my hair, and hair grows. (I *mean* the boss too, not Greyman who likes this sort of thing, strangely and happily enough!)

Posted in Probably talking to just myself, Studio Realities

being “organized”

Posted on by arlee

My friend Heather over on True Stitches asked how do others keep their immediate working area clean and organized? (We’re not talking the whole studio space, just where you do *most* of your work, for those of you who use “hand” methods.)

HA. My stitching corner “stand” is most often a jumbled pile of various threads, whether in use or not. It also attracts stray earrings, dog hair, pins, cat hair, thread labels, dog and cat hair and old fashioned dust. And dog and cat hair. Once a month (whether it needs it or not 🙂 ), i DO clean it up.  Usually when things start falling off the back, or between the stand and the couch, or won’t fit anymore because there’s already too much stuff in it… And presently, i am not sure and don’t care about whatever is in the bottom drawer….

To the right of the stand is my homemade niddy noddy for winding thread skeins, and a large board that i dream of Greyman attaching to the top of the stand to extend my space, *someday*………. i need more room for more crap after all. And dog and cat hair.

THIS however is my Best Friend.

Bought 6 or so years ago at a cheap department store (probably a Zeller’s or Giant Tiger or V&S, can’t remember as that store is now gone), for the magnificent sum of $8.00, i just can’t work without it. A lap table, it’s wide enough underneath that i can sit with my legs crossed, extended, or doubled up in agony ’cause my hip is bothering me again. It’s high enough that i don’t need SuperPower glasses to see what i’m doing (though i wear the Just About Super ones), holds scissors and marking tools out of the way for safety and for easy use, and has space for thread ends and bags of threads. I have to have a lifted area to work on, as arthritis also affects my shoulders, wrists and right thumb, so not dangling stuff over my capacious lap is paramount. I do clean this out after every use as the spaces regularly fill up with bits and scraps and the ubiquitous you know what hair.

And i never ever EVER use the armrest of the couch as a pincushion!!!

 

 

Posted in a collusion of ideas, journal: lessons to learn, Probably talking to just myself, Sketchwork

what to make when you can’t make, “figuratively”

Posted on by arlee

I find myself unable to just sit, and think. Or not think. I have to accept that sometimes my mind *is* in low drive, for whatever reason, but i’m also one of those who *have* to keep my hands busy, so i’ve turned to “finishing” small things that have sat around for aeons.

At times like this, i often look to old work, whether sketch or textile, and found two small bits that were based on a 1975 pen and ink. The first is a little happier than the original at least! A bit to do in the top corner and maybe off to a new home for someone?

All naturally dyed threads again (some in the shop), and approximately 5×7″. I cropped the original below, sparing you the other portion of the teen angst sketch it was then 🙂

A smaller one (also still being worked on):

That figure was also on “How the Light Bends”, the piece that was accepted for the SDA “Materialities” conference/exhibit in 2015, so she’s been around the block a few times.

“How the Light Bends” 2015 rusted cotton, ecoprint and potassium permanganate dyed cotton, hand embroidery, fabric manipulation, 26×21″

However……these have led to this:

I dipped some of this treasured “lace” in potassium permanganate, and being a nylon base , it soaked it up. (I think it’s nylon, i know it’s definitely NOT a natural fibre, but it’s had pieces dyed in brazilwood, indigo and walnut and they all “took”! Some nylons will take up some natural dyes.)  I’ve been eking out this fabric for 6 years now, and will be quite bereft when it’s gone. I found it at the local thrift shop, a shower curtain cover, and it’s almost a signature fabric. (Now that i think of it, why couldn’t i make my own with a sheer and some soluble???) I started stitching on this (other than the outline), and have decided already to rip out what i did!

This figure was also the basis for work on “Tabula Memoria”:

I don’t really do well with abstract, or fields of just colour or just shape, so i think the figures will be on the worktable for awhile. They’re easy to read, fundamental to most viewers for interpretation and even when the same, *not* the same. (And i’m still looking for the blue figure from the previous post, in a “safe spot” no doubt, just like my wedding ring which i lost last week…)

And i need to do some self directed workshops again 🙂 Quite frankly, i seem to be repeating myself–and i don’t mean the re-iterations above! I’ve  let go by the wayside the experiments, making mistakes and messes, and throwing things together in serendipitous mixes. Every day now i have a moment of “i’m not doing this anymore”……….