But after almost 2 years of not posting, i want to make sure everyone knows i’m still here, and still “doing things”. Sort of. No pics though.
It hasn’t been great. My mother has broken both hips in the last year, so with also a knee replacement, she is now the Bionic Woman, from the waist down at least. Currently, she is in hospital for the second hip replacement (tripped over the dog’s work, a chewed up rug…) but does not sound like herself and is “trapped” there until the 1st of February at least. First hip operation a year ago she was home the next day and moving around, this time i think she’s going to give up……
Greyman and i have spent the last year trying to figure out why we both feel like utter shit after quitting smoking. Aren’t we supposed to feel better??????? It’s been 15 months, neither of us cheated, but guess what? We have pneumonia, mine barely negligible, his enough to put him in the hospital at the moment, short of breath, also as they have discovered, severely anemic and with an ulcer or two. He’s been there 3 days and will be for at least another 2 weeks, and i miss him and i’m scared for him. He has a breath exerciser and a liquid diet, which means when he gets to come home, he’ll probably weigh as much as a stick. But he will be a breathing stick at least.
Oh yeah, and through my own self neglect, i am pre-diabetic. I love food so this sucks. I’m still learning what the fuck the difference is between healthy food and not healthy because i thought i WAS eating healthy……………..
We do wonder though why for the duration so far of our no-more-smoking lifestyle, both of us have been EXHAUSTED. We’ve had weekends for months when we would get up at 9, go back to bed at 11, get up at 3, back to bed at 5, up at 8 and then back in bed by 10, both of us sleeping like the proverbial log. We tried “happy pills”, but anti depressants made it worse, so stopped those. Still a fricking mystery. The Lizard Brain (the one/part responsible for addiction, pleasure and stubborn-ness) is NOT pleased at all. Asshole.
The cat we “inherited” (from his late Mom) died a month ago in the closet, all curled up and passed away in her sleep. Sally was my Duchess of Canterbury, the sweetest, gentlest, quietest kitty i’ve ever had. I miss her sleeping on me, and i mean ON me–i was a hammock for her, always with the little cold piddies and tummy on me.
Haven’t gardened for 2 years.
We did drive back to Ontario (almost 7000K round trip) the summer of 21 to see what’s left of my family, 2 brothers and my Mom. First time they had met Greyman, and we all got along wonderfully.
I’d had great plans for the Christmases of 21/22/23 (Holy shit, thought it was 2 of them, not 3…), dyed and collected all the stuff together with my sketches and patterns and trims and beads—–and did NOTHING.
Took a print dye class online in 21, did nothing with it. GOOD class though regardless of my non results.
I’ve been planning on creating a wearable art line again, have accumulated the necessary fabrics, drawn up the patterns and collected the raw materials for dyeing—-lots of ideas and sketches, not even any prep on fibres done yet. MUST GET OFF ASS AND GET AT IT. I DO want to do this, seriously. Really. Really i DO. I loved it when i had my wearable art business in the 90’s.
Taking another print and dye class currently, more comprehensive and “glamorous” (YES i WANT “Glamorous” results and will have them.)
FB and Instagram are my main entertainments these days, though i do keep up on the ocassional blog, so i know what most of you are doing. Waving madly at you, hi, hi, hi.
So, bets on when i post again?
albedo too 
Hoping on lots of healing for you and those around you, both physical and mental. Sometimes our energies are just drained and difficult to gather up again to re-charge. You’ve had a lot to deal with…and as we age, it’s a reality we never fully expected. Go pet some of the beauties you have created and hang on to hope that you will be getting back to it all. Warm wishes from our chilly far-away place.
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Good to hear your summation, even if not about textiles and dyeing. Things happen, life changes and we adapt. Sometimes intention is the best we can do on a given day and that’s enough for now. You are holding up the sky for those around you. Holding you and them in my thoughts.
Looking forward to more posts when you get to it.
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Take care of yourself and be gentle with creativity. I went 8 years of tough elder care with my mom & dad. Don’t kid yourself. It is soul sucking. I took two of her cats and was so sad when each passed. One before mom passed, one after she passes. Mom passed in Jan 2021, dementia took her down. I am finally starting to feel the creative urges again. It truly takes time. Pace yourself. It is tough.
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I sometimes wonder about the state of my mind because only a couple weeks ago I was thinking of you and wondering how you were doing. Of course did I act on it – obviously not!
I’m so sorry you and Greyman have been going through h-e-double-hockey-sticks – almost sounds like it could be long covid? I’m sure you got tested for that though. Definitely sending healing thoughts to you and Greyman.
Post when you can, or when the spirit moves you, because we do care about you!!
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I’m glad to hear that in the midst of all the turmoil you’ve go plans. Plans are good, better than half finished work in my book although once I start the work I don’t usually leave it incomplete.
And now I’m feeling like I should follow suit and post as well. Haven’t done so in almost a year in which I’ve been involved in several exhibitions including a small solo – even sold my first paintings!
Hope your energy returns, that the garden doesn’t become a jungle and trap you like Sleeping Beauty because princes are in short supply and don’t usually do anything as mundane as weeding. Actually the idea of a man coming into a woman’s bedroom and kissing her while she sleeps is seriously creepy – we need to rewrite that particular story.
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So good to hear from you, Arlee, I think of you often – goodness but you have a lot going on there… sending you warm thoughts and wishes for returning health and energy. Maybe the spring will bring renewal and vigour x
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I can’t tell you how happy I was to see your name in my inbox! I had been thinking of you recently but never quite made it to reaching out.
I am so very sorry for all the trials you and Greyman are facing. I can particularly identify regarding your mom and the hip(s). My mom fell and broke her hip Oct 20, 2022. She is now in continuing care, the whole experience changed her in many ways. The hip healed perfectly, her fear of falling, not so much. So she is in a wheelchair but making gains, although slowly. And she is looking forward to her 100th birthday next month!
Regarding becoming smoke free. I can also identify. I felt like crap the first couple of years after I achieved smoke free status. And the smells. Pulleeeaaasseeee LOL Hang in there. You may want to be tested for COPD, or not. I do have it, and it has worsened as I have been living with a heavy smoker for the past couple of years (happy to report no desire to resuming smoking 😉 )
And the lack of will to do the things you are wanting to do. I can totally identify there as well. No answer for you except to let you know you are definitely not alone.
Hang in there! I hope your creative desire (or rather the energy to do same) returns asap.
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gosh, coincidently I just sent you a message on Instagram. Glad to know you are still here!
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